Photo by author
For those who are unaware, Grindr is the overall most popular dating/chat app for gay, bisexual and queer men in the United States (though other apps are preferred by particular demographic groups). Users are presented with a grid of profile pictures to scroll through. Each profile has space for a picture and a name. The picture may or may not be, but often is, of the person’s face. The name may or may not be, but rarely is, their actual one (like on a lot social media). Neither a picture nor a name are required. Tapping on the profile shows more information the person might choose to share or not, like height and weight, relationship status, what they’re looking for, STD status and more pictures.
I’ve had Grindr on my phone since 2022. During that period, I’ve been semi-nomadic, spending most of my time in rural communities, but also visiting big cities. The contrast in the grids is stark. In a place like Portland or the Bay Area, nearly every profile features a face pic. But in sparsely populated locales like eastern Oregon or western Colorado, less than a quarter do. Maybe a third show just a portion of the body (exposed torso, clothed ass or crotch) or a full body shot but with the face concealed. Of the profiles that remain, local landscapes are common, but about 40% are simply blank.
For the record, I have face pics on my profile and I change the name depending on where I am and what I’m looking for.
The subject of face pics is definitely a thing on Grindr. Very commonly, people put “NPNC” in their profile description or even in their name slot, which is “no pic, no chat” and which is fair enough. Stating your conditions is totally valid. Of those without face pics, quite a few do say in their profile description that they’re willing to share them privately. Again, fair enough, at least as far as I’m concerned. But not everyone feels like that.
There’s always a few (and just a very few thankfully) who are like, “It’s 2026. Show your face.”
My response is, “It’s 2026. Don’t you get why some people wouldn’t want to show their face?”
Let’s back up a little.
